Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
