Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Congratulations! We have a period
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