alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
