I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
