cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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