remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
