Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
