No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Welp...herpes.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
