And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize