hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize