I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
