i jhust puked up my retainher.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
vagina is talking i cant
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
