I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Randomize
