Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize