singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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