We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
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Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
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It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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