It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
it glows. i had to have it.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Drunk is a universal language darling
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
