Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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