Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
