Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
