she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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