Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
