Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
