I'm drive I can fine osifer
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
