i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
