I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
sex in a hospital.. check
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
