What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
