just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
