He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
