So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
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