So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
