We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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