Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I need to calm my uterus...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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