They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize