Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
