my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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