what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize