another moral hangover. fuck.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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