Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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