your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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