PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
