If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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