absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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