why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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