Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Michael Bay diarrhea
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Randomize
