I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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