I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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