you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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