After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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