i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
