take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
