I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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