You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
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You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
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I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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