We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
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I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
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I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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