its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
