is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
