But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
