It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
