the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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