I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
