Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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