Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
